Ghosting as Avoidance in Relationships
Understand why ghosting feels easier than honesty.
When Closeness Feels Complicated
Closeness does not arrive cleanly.
It brings warmth and friction at the same time.
One part of you leans in while another hesitates, noticing how connection can carry both comfort and cost.
This is ambivalence—not confusion, not failure, but the presence of more than one truth at once.
You are not doing closeness wrong.
You are simply experiencing it fully.
Name ambivalence with DojoWell.
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Articles exploring the psychology behind these patterns.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does closeness feel so "mixed" or confusing?
This is "structural ambivalence." In this model, closeness is being processed by two systems at once: the Reward system sees connection, while the Threat system sees a potential loss of autonomy or safety. When these signals cross, closeness feels "complicated." Naming this as an internal mix of system signals removes the pressure to have a "pure" emotional response, allowing you to stay present with the complexity without needing to "fix" it.
How do I navigate mixed feelings about closeness?
You acknowledge both signals as valid data. By naming the "mixed" state, you stop the Narrative system from trying to choose one side over the other. This "structural honesty" lowers the internal friction. You aren't "confused"; you are simply experiencing a high-load integration event. Staying with the ambivalence without rushing to resolve it allows the nervous system to eventually find a stable baseline where closeness can land safely.