
Relationship Drain: Why Some People Exhaust You
Understand why certain relationships drain you and how to protect your emotional energy.
Existing together does not require interaction.
Parallel presence is still presence.
You can share space without exchanging anything.
Nothing is withheld; nothing is owed.
Normalize parallel presence with DojoWell.
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Parallel existence is the state of two people occupying the same space while following their own internal loops. It is a "non-interfering" presence. This is a high-level structural achievement because it requires both parties to feel safe enough to not monitor or engage the other. It normalizes a way of being together that doesn't drain the Reward & Pursuit system, allowing for a restful, shared baseline that supports long-term nervous system stability.
Engagement often restarts a "social loop" that requires constant feedback and adjustment. In a state of recovery, these loops can be too expensive for the nervous system to maintain. Parallel existence allows for "co-regulation" without the cost of engagement. You get the biological benefits of proximity—lower cortisol and increased safety signals—without the "meaning debt" that comes from having to navigate complex, active social dynamics during a period of integration.