Emotional Overfunctioning and Self-Neglect
Learn why you overfunction in relationships and how to rebalance emotional labor.
Feeling Separate While Included
You can be included without stepping fully in.
The invitation exists, untouched.
Belonging does not require entry.
You are allowed to stay where you are.
Redefine inclusion with DojoWell.
Explore DojowellFrom Art to Science
Articles exploring the psychology behind these patterns.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I be "included" but still feel "separate"?
Inclusion is an external state (being in the group), while separateness is an internal orientation. In this model, you can be a "coherent island" within a "shared sea." You are participating in the external loops of the group—the meal, the conversation, the event—while your internal Narrative system remains independent. This allows you to benefit from the safety of the group without the "immersion cost" of losing your sense of self or becoming overwhelmed by group-think.
Why is "naming" this experience so helpful?
Naming it "inclusion without immersion" closes the confusion loop. It provides a structural category for what you are feeling, which settles the Narrative & Identity system. You are no longer "weird" or "antisocial"; you are simply "separately included." This reduces the internal pressure to "blend in" more deeply, allowing you to enjoy the social benefits of inclusion at a level that is safe and sustainable for your current nervous system state.