Relationship Drain: Why Some People Exhaust You
Understand why certain relationships drain you and how to protect your emotional energy.
When Together Feels Parallel
Together can feel parallel.
Lives move in the same direction without intersecting.
You are not excluded.
You are simply adjacent.
The shared moment runs alongside, not through.
Understand parallel presence with DojoWell.
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Articles exploring the psychology behind these patterns.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if we are "together" but just moving in parallel?
This is "parallel presence," a state where two people are in the same environment but following separate internal loops. In DojoWell terms, this is a high-level success of regulation. It means both individuals feel safe enough to exist without constantly "merging" or monitoring each other. Naming it as parallel presence removes the narrative that you "should" be more emotionally synchronized, allowing you to enjoy the quiet safety of shared existence without the exhaustion of forced interaction.
Is emotional merging necessary for a good relationship?
Constant emotional merging is actually low-density; it leaves no room for the individual integrator to process life. High-density relationships allow for frequent periods of parallel existence. By not demanding a "merge," you protect the Narrative & Identity systems of both parties. This creates a sustainable social architecture where connection is a choice made from a state of coherence, rather than a desperate attempt to fix a sense of internal fragmentation or emptiness.