Anxious Texting & Attachment Loops
Learn why waiting for a reply activates threat responses.
When Intimacy Feels Pressing
Intimacy moves closer and the space tightens.
You feel the press before words form.
This pressure does not mean intimacy is wrong.
It means the pace or depth is touching thresholds not yet settled.
Your response is information, not resistance.
Name intimacy pressure with DojoWell.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Why do I feel "pressed" when someone gets too close?
"Pressing" is the sensation of an advancing intimacy loop that exceeds your current "integration band." The other person is moving faster than your system can process the "landing." In this model, this is a signal of "rhythm mismatch." Your Threat system registers the advance as a potential intrusion. Naming this "pressure" allows you to communicate your need for a slower pace without framing the other person as a "threat," maintaining the connection while protecting your boundaries.
How do I handle the pressure of intimacy?
You "de-accelerate" the loop. Instead of withdrawing completely, you name the pressure and find a "stable coordinate" where you feel safe. This might mean shifting from a deep conversation to a shared physical activity. By slowing the "pursuit," you allow your "integrator" to catch up. This ensures that the intimacy "lands" rather than "crashes," leading to higher meaning density and a more regulated nervous system for both people.