Guilt, Shame & Behavioral Control
Learn how guilt and shame evolved to maintain tribe belonging and how they misfire today.
When Worth Feels Conditional Inside
When worth feels conditional inside, something is always pending.
A box waits to be checked before rest arrives.
The condition may be vague, but its pressure is clear.
This inner contract was formed to keep belonging safe.
Naming it allows worth to exist without constant verification.
Explore conditional worth with DojoWell.
Explore DojowellFrom Art to Science
Articles exploring the psychology behind these patterns.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does my self-worth feel like it has "terms and conditions" attached?
This is "Conditional Self-Worth." Your internal system has placed specific requirements—like productivity, perfection, or external praise—on your safety. Identifying these internal conditions helps you see that your worth has been treated as a variable rather than a constant. In the model, we work to restore worth as a structural foundation that doesn't fluctuate based on the day's "performance score."
How can I stop making my worth conditional?
By noticing the "If/Then" logic in your mind: "If I finish this, then I am okay." Interrupt this loop by declaring a "Zero-Condition Window." For a short period, practice existing with the radical assumption that you are already structurally complete. This provides the Threat & Safety system with evidence that your worth isn't actually tied to the conditions, allowing the pressure to eventually settle.